I unpacked. Emotionally, physically and mentally. I unpacked.
I unpacked trauma, lies, manipulation and unhappiness. The weight of which became to heavy. It had been heavy for a while. Every year, every incident added to my load. Think of a bucket being filled with water; if you over fill it, it’s hard to carry. Slow and steady stops the spillage but fast and hasty causes the water to splash.
I was the bucket.
I carried myself filled with emotion but tried to continue on like nothing was wrong. So as I carried me, the bucket, I was spilling water – emotional outbursts or rather, pent up anger and unhappiness. Random conversations, interactions and encounters with someone, no one, were triggering. I was so unhappy that anything could make it worse but nothing could make it better.
But I kept on keeping on, until I dropped the bucket. But not all the water ( emotions, trauma) spilt out because as we know, there’s always that little bit of water that manages to survive the fall and remain in the bucket.
So I had to unpack.
I unpacked the rest of water,
I began to tidy up the mess.
I unpacked childhood trauma.
I unpacked internalised negative energy.
I unpacked the lies I believed were true.
I unpacked countless instances of disrespect.
I unpacked the manipulation.
I unpacked unhappiness,
Loss
Frustration
Wasted time
Abuse.
I’ve unpacked. I’m still unpacking.
The only thing 2019 hasn’t done to me is kill me lol. It’s been rough but I am manifesting bigger and better things in 2020.
We all have some unpacking to do but don’t wait until the proverbial shit hits the fan. And it’s not just me, and it’s not just you. Loads of people I’ve spoken to have had a crappy year. It happens. But we live, we learn and we grow.
So bring on 2020, because I’m about to Live, Live, LIVE (s/o to Miss Palmer lol).
