On Monday , 1st April, I wrote my resignation letter:
Dear Mr Headteacher,
I am writing to you to confirm my resignation from post of History and Sociology at ******* School.
I would like to thank-you for blah blah blah.
Kind Regards,
Jamila
But I didn’t hand it in. I had a conditional job offer at a Sixth Form College, secure with satisfactory references. Simple.
That same day, after some back and forth emails, my job offer was retracted.
Peak.
I hadn’t handed in my notice, so – no biggie. I still had a job. I’d just continue with that. The losing of the new job without any unsatisfactory references was frustrating, unprofessional and inconvenient more than anything else. The past months had been depressing and so, this job issue was just another loss. Another slap in the face.
I thought about the position I was in: depressed, unhappy, unfulfilled. The list goes on. On the Wednesday, I phoned my mum crying after a crappy day and trying to weigh up my options.
After some thought, realisation of where I was at, counting the numerous amount of shitty days over the past year and a half, on the Thursday, with no back up plan (or job), I handed in my notice.
Now, for some, I know this seems like an impulsive and impractical decision. But it feels right.
On the Friday, the last day of term, my headteacher said I had until the end of the day to change my mind. I didn’t take the bait. I went home knowing that there was no going back on my decision. That weekend, I received a letter confirming that my resignation had been accepted.
Two weeks of half term followed, and I can honestly say, I did not want to go back to school. I joined an agency to help find some teaching work but having enjoyed those 2 weeks, I’m not rushing to find my next job. I want to find something that works for me and not feel like I’m working for the blatant enemy.
It was my first week back. And I was not looking forward to it. I mean, given the lovely Bank Holiday weekend we had, was anybody looking forward to Tuesday morning?
We had an Inset Day on Tuesday – No students, just staff CPD sessions. And some of the interactions I had with some members of staff SOLIDIFIED why handing in my notice was SO NECESSARY.
These past two weeks have been tiring and quite draining TBH. Marking, planning, Parents’ Evening, teaching! And it will be exactly the same next week – minus Parents’ Evening. This blog post was meant to even be up 2 weeks ago!
Whilst these past two weeks have been a drag, two highlights:
- Subjectivity UK event on Representation👌🏿
- Conversations with some lovely students and their parents at Parents Evening 🖤
So, I wrote this all to say, I QUIT. And I’m happy with my decision.
This year, 2019, has been draining, depressing, unfulfilling, tiring and not what I expected it to be. Maybe I did not make the personal changes I should have. Maybe I made the same mistakes. Maybe I just got it wrong. But what I have learnt, is that as long as you continue to live the same life, do the same things and put up with the same bullshit; life will be the same, you will the same and the bullshit will remain. So take a risk. Take a chance and make a change. Maybe that job is not for you, maybe your heart is un something else. Get out that environment and find yourself, somewhere else. Let’s stop waiting for change and instead, be the change we wish to see.
Resilience is not how long you can keep going with the same shit. It’s knowing when to say I QUIT.
